Home > Uncategorized > Random: Overhead Paging at Kohl’s

Random: Overhead Paging at Kohl’s

Although my arms are un-evolved, my brain has evolved enough to allow me to fathom paranoidic paging scenarios.

Not really technical… I was just at Kohl’s buying a shirt and some pants (they’re the only place that carries shirts with arms long enough for me). Walking around, looking at their large range of colors, drinking my coffee, I started hearing these pages.
“1-3-1, 1-0-8” “1-6-8, 1-1-0”

Working at a psychiatric hospital where we have paging codes (Code White = Patient issue, Code Blue = Medical issue, Code Brown = Bomb threat, Code Red = Smoke), I began to get worried.

“Is 1-3-1 the code for ‘guy walking with coffee prepared to spill on under-priced shirts?’ 3 signifying the floor, then the others the section? What’s going on here?!”

Again and again, I kept hearing these cryptic codes…
“1-3-8, 1-1-0.” “1-5-0, 1-2-2”

“Need a managers approval?”

“Credit card fraud?”

“Armed robbery?!”

“Terrorist attack?!”

My cashier, who surprisingly wasn’t put-off by the randomness of my question, delivered the answer. It turns out that, with the anonymity of HIPAA compliance (“Joseph P. please come to the interview room…”), Kohl’s paging convention uses employee numbers instead of employee names. The first three numbers are the employee’s ID number, and the last three is the extension to be called.

Next time you’re in Kohl’s and you hear the cipherical pages, don’t fret. It’s just them… well… paging.

Oh well… crisis averted.

image source
Apprently, the word “cipherical” hasn’t been used since 1841.
The term “paranoidic” is attributed to John C. Hampsey, in his essay Paranoia and Contentment:
A Personal Essay on Western Thought
Neither are found in standard English dictionaries.

  1. Bub4506
    May 27, 2012 at 7:46 pm

    Well close, 01 is manager, 02 assitant mgr, 1-2 is an area supervisor, 1-5 is loss prevention

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